Dear Running – It was me, not you

Dear Running,

I am sorry that we had to take some time apart.  Our relationship went to a level that I didn’t know how to handle, and I panicked a bit.  This time apart has really helped me, and I hope you’ll take me back.

Last summer, we were moving along fast and furious.  With the Marine Corps Marathon looming in the fall, we worked tirelessly to get ready together.  The summer was challenging, to say the least.  We had days where we loved each other, but more often we fought, sometimes not speaking at all.  You weren’t easy on me, and I wasn’t easy on you.

It wasn’t all bad.  We had some great times at the beach – remember all those hot, post run dips?  I would take off my sneakers and jump right in with most of my clothes on.  Those were good times.  We had some great dates at my gym on the treadmill, and you introduced me to that silly sounding Fartlek.  I introduced you to my friends and we ran rolling hills and saw pigs on one run.  That was a fun day!

Here’s my problem – I stayed faithful to you and I felt like you failed me.  On that fateful marathon day, even with the proper training and prep, when it got difficult, you left me.  A wall popped up at mile 18 and *poof* you were gone!  I felt so lost and alone.  I relied on some friends and then decided to take some time apart from you, even though we visited from time to time.

Now, it’s a new year and I’m a bit older and wiser.  I have the luxury now of hindsight, which (as we know) is always 20/20.  You were always there for me, better or worse, but I had to be there for myself first.  I should have known that in any relationship, I need to learn to rely on myself before anyone else.  I need to know that I can do anything I put my mind to, even when I am all alone.

I want to thank you for teaching me (the hard way) to love myself.  I am a better person before it.  Also, thank you for teaching me honesty.  Finally, thank you for being there for me each time I leave you.  You’re always waiting for me, to help me and hurt me and teach me and love me.  There isn’t much better than you – only you and me.

I love you (for now).

xoxo G

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