Trying to Hang on to that Wave

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Some times things happen when you’re least expecting them.  I’ve been so distracted lately with visitors, traveling, and preparing for the end of my semester/getting ready for preceptorship, graduation, and moving on to my BSN.  Monday morning was catch up from traveling because I worked on Sunday, but Harry and I still had to go to the Chiropractor and OT.  I watched his OT session from my secret hiding spot, as usual, and tried to figure out everything that was going on.  I heard Miss Karen, our therapist, rejoicing about something but couldn’t figure out what it was about.  At the end of the session, she beamed “I had him pushing on his arms on this chair to help stand up, and for the first time ever, I felt his arm muscles twitch.”   

Cue my disbelief.  I asked her to clarify.  “You mean, his biceps?  And his triceps?”  She nodded.  Of course, I started to cry.  Side note: for those of you just meeting me post MD and all of this, I am not a crier.  Correction, I never was never a crier.  Kids do funny things to you.

The rest of the day, I felt like I had been surprised with a wonderful gift.  Harry’s future has a big question mark in it, because no one knows what he will be able to do, and once he’s able to do it, if he will retain the ability he has gained.  I try to stay optimistic, but that can be an exhausting challenge 24/7.  I do my best.  When things like this happen, I celebrate.   We have never felt much from Harry’s upper arms, and the fact that he can command them to do anything is incredible!

So I rode that wave of happiness all day.  I went to school and knocked my last clinical lab test out right out of the park.  I ran to my kickboxing class at CKO and murdered a tough class.  It was a great day!  Tuesday morning I woke up set on hanging on to that happiness wave.  I had an uneventful morning playing with the man, and then went to school.  I tried to tackle a 3 mile fast run on the treadmill, and there was nothing there.  I had no strength, no energy, no desire.   I remembered something my favorite blogger The Hungry Runner Girl had recently written.  She started a bad workout and got off her treadmill, did something else, then restarted fresh on a new treadmill.  I tried to muster some strength to do some dumbbell exercises, but I just ended up getting mad (which worked just as well).  I was mad because yesterday I was on the top of the world, why couldn’t I harness this amazing energy my son had just created?  I really beat myself up.

Here’s the amazing part about running: it takes a while.  As I ran on the treadmill for the second time, I was alone with my thoughts.  I realized that celebration is great, but then you need to move on and get back to work.  My son can’t rest, he needs to keep working.  I need to encourage that.  You can only ride the wave for so long, so enjoy the moments at the top, then dismount and get back up on your board.  Man I miss surfing!   Hang loose, friends!

To Infinity, and Beyond!

To Infinity, and Beyond!

6 thoughts on “Trying to Hang on to that Wave

  1. Thank for your beautiful posts. As always, they are so touching. Your sensitivity to Harry’s progress helps him so much. Go Harry, keep those twitches coming! Xoxo

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